SWRPG

Jedi Master Oppo Rancisis arrived today for the first day of the Kashyyyk/Trandosha peace negotiations, though critics of the Jedi were quick to point out that had the delegation arrived four weeks ago, considerable bloodshed would have been averted.

Jonava Billane, mother of Baby Ludi, the infant subject of a heated custody dispute with the Jedi Council, will appear on an upcoming episode of Essence, the popular talk show based out of Eriadu.

Two hours after the odds-defying victory of Blob 14 in the third race at Fondine Raceways, the Umgullian Racing Commission announced findings of banned viscosity-enhancing substances in the winning blob’s system.

At a gathering of the most influential media critics, Core World Critics Association President Jaysa Namoor began lambasting the holomedia industry on the upcoming summer season.

To look at him, you’d swear he wasn’t a day over 35 standard years old, but Bosbit Matarcher’s birth records confirm the unthinkable – he’s 225 years old.

The discovery of microbial life has halted corporate dumping on planetoid PDC3141-02, but has in turn endangered the crew of the Trade Federation scow, Spotty Conveyor.

More than 250,000 worlds in the Outer Rim will have to go without HoloNet access for another year, the General Ministry Communications Agency announced yesterday.

A suspicious package that forced the partial evacuation of the Sermerian First House turned out to contain a doll effigy of Chancellor Palpatine crawling with stone mites.

The tiny inhabitants of Kip have dealt a large blow to the Desilijic Hutt clan with the conviction of legitimate businessman Zorba Desilijic Tiure for the illegal removal of ulikuo stones.

Reports from the Bureau of Ships and Services indicate a micrometeorite collision has scuttled an Arcon Multinode container ship and clogged the Corulag-Jatir Hyperroute with debris.