Friday, June 14, 2024
HoloNet News

Moe Funeral Disrupted by Dug Activists

PIXELITO, MALASTARE – Dug activists, demanding an end to Gran rule of their native Malastare and equal representation in the Galactic Senate, disrupted the funeral of Senator Aks Moe today. What was to be a reverent ceremony presided over by the higher echelons of the Gran Protectorate instead turned into an impromptu Podrace spectacle.

Approximately 70 Dug activists crowded the surrounding fungal greenery, brandishing sports-like banners and pennants customized to read political messages of freedom and equality. Dug musicians blasted theme songs popularized by such past Malastarian Podracers as Sebulba and Ebe E. Endocott, Esq.

The greatest disruption came when an unidentified Dug tore through the procession in a highly modified Radon-Ulzer Podracer, hooking the Gran memorial tapestry in his air-brake scoops.

Toronaxx, the public face of the Dugs-for-Democracy movement, issued a statement via a pirated connection to Malastare’s HoloNet node. “We will do anything to bring freedom and justice to our people,” her statement read, in part. “Though we did not have anything to do with the Senator’s death, he was responsible for the death of many of our numbers. The coward should have no rest even now.”

The Pixelito constabulary arrested 16 Dugs. Acting Senator Ask Aak was whisked away for his protection and was unavailable for comment.

Representative Baskol Yeesrim was forward in his visibly emotional statements. “These Doellin-forsaken animals will not get away with this,” he said. “Need I point out, again, that if there were Jedi here, this insult would never have happened.”

PT White

I've been involved in creating content for Star Wars The Role Playing Game since 1992 and consider myself a Star Wars Super Fan and knowledge bank for the Star Wars Universe.

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