METROBIG CITY, SKOR II – In a planetwide statement to the Squib citizenry of Skor II, the ruling monarch emphatically proclaimed that the Squibs, as a people, are “going nowhere.” Presumably referring to the current secessionist crisis, King Ebareebaveebeedee emphasized his loyalty to the Senate, and that Squib allegiance to the Republic could not be swayed. “Our ultrastrong loyalties and royalties to Republicness and whatever it may stand for will not let splitty-types coax-haggle Squibbish into leaving, no matter the size of the haggleprize,” said the King in his 20-minute address. After bargaining for another six minutes of screen-time, the King then added,”You bet.” This marks the third Grand Proclamation by the ruler of the Squib Polyanarchy in as many days, following yesterday’s declaration of the Jedi order as “koovy.”