Saturday, September 30, 2023
HoloNet News

Jedi TradeChips Spark Controversy

JRADE DISTRICT, CORUSCANT – As the Spotts TradeChip Company is set to launch the first-ever set of tradechips to feature history’s most famous Jedi Knights, the Jedi Council itself is attempting to block the distribution of the unauthorized product.

“The Jedi are guardians of peace and justice. We are servants, not celebrities,” said Jedi Master Coleman Trebor. “To have our faces on garments, food containers or sleep covers like common holo-feature action characters would be to dishonor the nature of the Force.” To date, the Jedi Order have flatly denied all offers for the creation of officially licensed products and services.

“In these uncertain times, overpaid sports figures simply don’t cut it as role models for the galaxy’s children,” says Spotts marketing manager, Wil Jhonems. “Kids aspire to be a Jedi.”

Much like its successful smashball, bolo-ball, and Podracing chips, each Spotts Jedi tradechip can generate a small holo-representation of a particular Jedi Knight and display biographical information and statistics including the planet of origin, confirmed kills, and midi-chlorian count.

“If accurate, such information could be used by the enemies of the Republic against the Jedi Order,” said a concerned Master Trebor. “But even worse, these so-called statistics appear random and arbitrary. They have Master Yoda’s species listed as Lannik, and his midi-chlorian count at 4 million. That’s just ridiculous!”

Jhonems admits the possibility of minor inaccuracies. “The tradechips were created using the best information available. We would love to have access to the Jedi Library, but we don’t. If anything is off, we’ll certainly make corrections in the next set,” he promises. “Frankly, the entire concept of midi-chlorians is unclear to us.”

PT White

I've been involved in creating content for Star Wars The Role Playing Game since 1992 and consider myself a Star Wars Super Fan and knowledge bank for the Star Wars Universe.

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