Healthy Vacation Claims Disputed

BAILEE, COLUMUS – The latest marketing campaign from the Columus Tourism Board has come under fire from health officials. The program extols the health benefits of Columus’ low-gravity environment to severely overweight beings, including increased mobility and reduced strain on the heart(s) and feet. “The Columi may be smart, but they don’t have your best interest in mind,” charges Dr. Gidoo Zehow of the Rhinnal State Medical Academy. “There are no long-term benefits. In fact, the reduced muscle use serves only to slow metabolism. If anything, those with excess girth should visit high-grav locations with active predators to encourage exercise.”