Author: PT White

BREAKING NEWS: Amidala Alive Determined Senator Addresses SenateMilitary Creation Act Vote Delayed In an unparalleled display of devotion to service, Senator Padmé Amidala, believed killed in a terrorist strike this morning, emerged alive and well in time for the day’s Military Creation Act vote, though the Vote was postponed pending security reviews. Amidala made her dramatic entrance in the middle of words of mourning by Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, who delayed the vote to grieve the Senator’s demise. “Her death is a great loss to us all,” the Supreme Chancellor said.…

Recharge Prices Jump .4 Credits TRADE DISTRICT, CORUSCANT — The Coruscant Energy Commission’s increase in service rates can be felt at the corner power stations as commuters have noticed a 4-decicred spike in recharge rates around the world. Today’s weighted price per parajoule jumped to 1.72 credits, up from 1.32 last week, according to a study of over 12,000 power stations. This is the largest credit-per-parajoule increase in over 60 standard years. “It’s more than what I want to pay,” said Valsi Nocurja, a systems analyst working in the Jrade.…

Jedi Defeated for Teräs Käsi Title ÄSLAJÄ, BUNDUKI – The Force was not with Jedi Knight Joclad Danva tonight. In the evening air of the final purple-hued moon of the season, the formerly undefeated Danva was humbled in teräs käsi combat by new Palawa Band champion Phow Ji. Ji ended the exhausting 47-minute bout with a rancor-rising, aryx-slash, nexu-grin combination. “Joclad’s failure is just further proof that this 素orce’ is nothing more than a myth perpetuated as an excuse to retain power,” said Ji (19-0), the home-planet favorite. “Enlightenment and…

IA Caps Droid Rocket Warranty at 20 Years RORDIS CITY, NUBIA – Rescinding previous consumer documentation that guaranteed a “lifetime” of reliability in their after-market astromech hover rockets, Industrial Automaton has now capped the warranty at 20 standard years. This decision affects all optional R2, R3 and R4-adapted leg-bracket and barrel-housed propellant rocket systems. IA is instead recommending feature swap outs after 20 years, regardless of actual logged hours of operation. The decision stems from a costly out-of-court settlement IA paid to a Sump port worker injured by a falling…

Stone Mites Claim Ord Tiddell LAGABEE, ORD TIDDELL – The state capital of Ord Tiddell now lies in ruins, its foundation having been repeatedly perforated by the voracious appetites of thousands of stone mites. Much of Ord Tiddell’s capital city of Lagabee has been abandoned, and the planet’s population of four million is in the midst of a mass exodus. Ord Tiddell is the largest casualty in a bizarre series of stone mites infestations spreading throughout the Colonies and Mid Rim. Worlds as spread apart as Havricus, Sermeria, Tynna, Nar…

Cadinth Loyalty Uncertain After Jedi Death SASKAPEG, CADINTH – Following the death of their Jedi watchman, the Mid Rim world of Cadinth is wavering in its loyalty to the Republic. The Cadinth Oligarchy withdrew previous statements of support when a pro-Separatist uprising in the capital city of Saskapeg resulted in the death of Jedi Knight Bodis-Ker Vitan. The Prime Oligarch Rankwin Fopow has rescinded previous decrees, and now identifies his government as “firmly undecided.”

Desrini Plagued by Dianogass DESRINI DISCTRICT, CORUSCANT – Compounding the Desrini District’s hardships following last month’s refuse cannon misfire, the growing garbage pile up in the lower levels has attracted huge numbers of dianogas. Health and civic officials have confirmed that at least 25 of the district’s homeless population have been attacked and killed by the rapidly growing scavengers. Social activists on the behalf of the homeless warn that the dianogas are likely to spread to neighboring areas with garbage problems, including the Coco District.

Judicial Fired for Complaints of Species-Bias JUDICIAL ARCOLOGY, CORUSCANT – Personnel Director Lanyss Gutierrace was suspended today from the Judicial Department upon discovery of anti-alien bias in her hiring practices. “Our investigations have indicated that the claims against Director Gutierrace are valid, and we will re-review all applicants that were turned away solely on the basis of species,” said Acting Director Tanu Aphidale. Complaints against the former director surfaced four months ago after an Ishi Tib applicant who was turned down for a clerical position in the Judiciary took his…

Campaigning Reports from the Mid Rim MID RIM NODE – With the Military Creation Act vote seven days away, many traveling Senators and representatives are collecting a final consensus from their constituents to determine their vote next week. The Mid Rim is now a hotbed of last-minute campaigning to ensure that the voices of each sector are properly represented. Each Mid Rim sector determines its own Senate vote in accordance to local political and cultural traditions, but aggregate referenda are the most common method. Since most Senators wish to accurately…

Jedi Taskforce Dispatched to Reel in Thranta EXPANSION REGION NODE – The Judicial Department has dispatched a Jedi taskforce to track down the rogue Judicial corvette, Scarlet Thranta, which has started its own private war with the Separatists. “At 0400 this morning, a taskforce of 12 Jedi and 30 Judiciaries left Coruscant for the Sluis sector in the hopes of getting Captain Slayke and the crew of the Scarlet Thranta to stand down from their unauthorized campaign in Separatist space,” confirmed Judicial Terrinald Screed. The taskforce, led by Corellian Jedi Nejaa Halcyon, consists of…