Category: HoloNet News

He did it again; Representative Jar Jar Binks (Naboo) accidentally destroyed an elaborate ice statue at a gala fundraiser in Coruscant’s posh Jrade-district last night.

Following the unfortunate slicer attacks of 2:25, the free edition of HoloNet News is now back online and more secure than ever. Our networks now employ MerenData’s latest socketguards and a state-of-the-art Mandalmatrix system security administrator. We will spare no cost in providing you, the readers of the Republic, a fast, accurate and above-all, secure news experience.

After a year of disappointing sales, Industrial Automaton president Julynn Kentas confirmed that the droid manufacturing giant is canceling production on their R5-series of astromech droids.

Duros Chief Representative Officer Hoolidan Keggle formally criticized Triplanetary Press, the publishers of Encyclopedia Galactica during his State of the Union address.

The efforts of the Ratts Tyerell Foundation have yielded the banning of Podracing on the planet Caprioril. Proconsul Shren Whist announced the closing down the Doolis Podrace Arena, which will be transformed into another facility whose function is yet to be determined.

The Coruscant Weather Control Network (WeatherNet) will be switching to summer early this year at the request of the Wildlife Commission.

Freespan Starlanes Transport has announced plans to double the number of scheduled liner departures for Ando, predicting increased travel from Andoan expatriates wishing to return. Other major starlines, including Romodi Interstellar and Galaxy Tours are expected to announce similar increases.

The Stark Veteran Assembly has publicly criticized Naboo Senator Padmé Amidala for statements attributed to her during a Peace Rally on Commenor. SVA Spokesbeing Laslo Dorits called Amidala’s statements “disgraceful, stupid and typical,” during a live interview on the Eriadu talk show, Essence, last night.

It’s hard to tell just what the “Deluxe” in the Mobquet A-1 Deluxe refers to. In an industry where the luxury slice of the consumer pie is quickly being gobbled by SoroSuub, Incom and zZip Motor Concepts, Mobquet Swoops and Speeders have decided to think cheap. The results are, well, on-target.

The Jedi diplomatic envoy dispatched to broker peace talks in the Virgillian Civil War has been declared lost after having been missing for three standard weeks.